Strangled

Each breath is becoming more and more painful to take, I can feel my flesh begin to burn as the blood builds up around my pressured veins. My eyes are expounded but my vision blurry. My body becomes limp and un-useable while my arms dangle down by my sides. Heart beats are slowly decreasing and my feet pulsate as a ticking time clock. The only thing that seems to be functioning is my brain but nothing is left to do, it’s too late. As I take my last breath, I have one last flash back on how the very thing that I never thought could stop me was my murderer…FEAR

Stepping Out Of The Background

When did I step into the shadow? Never wanting to be the behind-the-scene Technician or the Back Ground Dancer, yet I’ve reduced my role each time. No one pays that much attention to the last name on the credits but the slightest mistake can be found in the spelling of the first name that roles up. The star of the show bears all the criticism both good and bad. The forerunner of the show holds all responsibility for the success or failure of their performance. What risk they take to be the Star. What challenges they overcome to stand another performance day after day. What resilience they have to give their best each and every time no matter what the outcome. The Star quality comes way before they hit the stage, way before they speak the first word or sing the first song. It starts from within when that inner voice is saying “I can do it.” When obstacles are turned into opportunities and failures into lessons, is when the inner Star shines the brightest.

Companion

Just inches away yet you keep your distance. I never have to ask for you twice, you are right where I know you will be. You don’t make me feel as if I owe you anything or that my submission is your power over me. I like the way you make me feel without words. You always leave me with a smile on my face and no pressure to contain my feelings or express them.

The Real Games

I’m laughing at you insensitive ploys yet I’m suppose to fall all over you. When did it become okay for the guy to care only about himself (out loud) I at least pretend to be sensitive to your feelings, I at least pretend to enjoy your company and I can hold a conversation as if I’m listening. But if all my efforts are only shielding my guilty conscious from the fact that I’m only holding on for the perks, how do you so easily ignore your conscious from reminding you about your ulterior motives? We are both here for the wrong reasons yet I’m the only one who seems to think this is unhealthy. Is it okay for us to put our motives on the table, open and honestly? Or do you think you could handle the truth? Will you label me as something I would never want to become if you only knew what kept me near? It’s an obvious yet oblivious game with play. It’s perfectly fine for you to only want me for one thing but if it were known that I pretended to want you for one thing then who would I be?

Until The Next Episode

My head hurts, my stomach is in knots, my mouth becomes dry with each swallow of anticipation. I feel the beating of my heart all the way down in my toes. My palms begin to sweat and I start to lose my balance. Meals of the past want to escape my body. My body temperature increases by the seconds, I'm getting hotter and hotter. I begin to unbutton my shirt, grabbing on straps, sleeves, whatever I can to try and cool off. Why don't I have feeling in my arms and hands? My speech becomes slurred as my mouth erupts with earlier consumption. Just when I think it might be over, I start loosing it...small black spots appear in my site as my vision begins to fail. Small black spots turn into large black spots, then complete darkness. I close my eyes. Where did everyone go? Whats happening to me? Am I blind? Will my site return? In and out, in and out, my breathing triples in pace as I start to hyperventilate. Will anyone help me? Will they know what to do? What will they think of me? Oh God, help me!
DARKNESS...SILENCE...
The hair stands up on my arm as I shiver from chills. My skin embraces the cool air being fanned on me by another. "Open your eyes and drink this water," another voice says. I hesitantly open my eyes, I can see! I'm freezing, Ive ripped away most of my clothing. Trying to catch my breath, I cover up and sip on the water placed in front of me. Thanking my strangers for caring, I reassure everyone including myself that I am okay. I got through it and I'm okay. Embarrassed by the by standing stares, I compose myself, stand on two feet and prepare to walk through the whispers. I'm thankful and frightful at the same time. I came through it again...until the next episode.

Her Heart Speaks

Her heart speaks at a low tone, something like a whisper. Years of silence, fighting for the chance to escape, her heart has a story to tell. Through abuse, rebellion, dis-trust, illness and depression her heart's voice gets stronger and stronger. With increasing courage and time her heart speaks out. Her fearless heart begins to speak, cry out, scream, and even shout about the many storms she's weathered. Her heart begins to become inspiration for so many. Her hearts words not only encourage but warn, advise and comfort so many that share similar stories. The voice of her heart is the growing force behind the dynamic woman that she is. If she wont listen to me, I pray that she listens to the courageous heart inside of her.

Running From Real

Our connection is superficial. Our interest, materialistic. You like the outside me and you distract the inside me from where I should really be. My smile makes your decision easy. My curves keep you here wanting more. My name rings bells and they say we look good together. The surface is perfect. A perfect perception of happiness. You say I'm what you need but what about what we want. I compliment the outside you but can I fulfill the inside you? Is the picture perfect love all you desire? When will we both realize that our well put together package is just not enough?