Thursday, April 8, 2010
Each breath is becoming more and more painful to take, I can feel my flesh begin to burn as the blood builds up around my pressured veins. My eyes are expounded but my vision blurry. My body becomes limp and un-useable while my arms dangle down by my sides. Heart beats are slowly decreasing and my feet pulsate as a ticking time clock. The only thing that seems to be functioning is my brain but nothing is left to do, it’s too late. As I take my last breath, I have one last flash back on how the very thing that I never thought could stop me was my murderer…FEAR
When did I step into the shadow? Never wanting to be the behind-the-scene Technician or the Back Ground Dancer, yet I’ve reduced my role each time. No one pays that much attention to the last name on the credits but the slightest mistake can be found in the spelling of the first name that roles up. The star of the show bears all the criticism both good and bad. The forerunner of the show holds all responsibility for the success or failure of their performance. What risk they take to be the Star. What challenges they overcome to stand another performance day after day. What resilience they have to give their best each and every time no matter what the outcome. The Star quality comes way before they hit the stage, way before they speak the first word or sing the first song. It starts from within when that inner voice is saying “I can do it.” When obstacles are turned into opportunities and failures into lessons, is when the inner Star shines the brightest.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Just inches away yet you keep your distance. I never have to ask for you twice, you are right where I know you will be. You don’t make me feel as if I owe you anything or that my submission is your power over me. I like the way you make me feel without words. You always leave me with a smile on my face and no pressure to contain my feelings or express them.
I’m laughing at you insensitive ploys yet I’m suppose to fall all over you. When did it become okay for the guy to care only about himself (out loud) I at least pretend to be sensitive to your feelings, I at least pretend to enjoy your company and I can hold a conversation as if I’m listening. But if all my efforts are only shielding my guilty conscious from the fact that I’m only holding on for the perks, how do you so easily ignore your conscious from reminding you about your ulterior motives? We are both here for the wrong reasons yet I’m the only one who seems to think this is unhealthy. Is it okay for us to put our motives on the table, open and honestly? Or do you think you could handle the truth? Will you label me as something I would never want to become if you only knew what kept me near? It’s an obvious yet oblivious game with play. It’s perfectly fine for you to only want me for one thing but if it were known that I pretended to want you for one thing then who would I be?