What if everyone DID believe in you? What if you didn’t have to feel as if you needed to prove yourself to anyone because you knew that they all thought you could do anything you wanted? What if people constantly gave you encouragement and told you that they support you? Think about if all those people that told you that you couldn’t do something, all told you that you COULD do whatever you put your mind to. Imagine a support system so strong that no one pointed out your failures but all awaited your success. What if everyone around you told you that you were destined for greatness and that nothing could stop you or get in your way? How about if you had great role models and people to look up to that accomplished their dreams?
Being fearful and defeated, holding in dark secrets and insecurities. Ashamed of past failures and terrified to fail again. Walking around with the “curse of perfection” while trying to figure out what everyone is thinking of you.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Dearly Beloved…I have been in denial of your death. I await your presence any day now, thinking that you will be here with me like you use to be. Your absence is now too much for me to ignore. It bothers me that I can’t remember your essence or what made you, you. It frustrates me that when I close my eyes and imagine you, I can’t see you clearly. People use to call you fearless, but I fear that I won’t remember you that way. Your passing as been detrimental to me. I sometimes feel as if I never knew you at all and that it was all just a dream that you were once here. Functioning without you is almost impossible, unbearable and miserable. I actually need you in my life to survive. Why did you leave me? I try to channel you back through inspiration, faith and patience but still nothing. Everyone else has moved on without you, but I can’t! It’s hard waking up every morning going to the mirror and not seeing you. As much as the reflection looks the same, you are not there. The only way I make it through the day is to look deep into those eyes staring back at me and pretend you are still here.