Thursday, December 17, 2009

Until The Next Episode

My head hurts, my stomach is in knots, my mouth becomes dry with each swallow of anticipation. I feel the beating of my heart all the way down in my toes. My palms begin to sweat and I start to lose my balance. Meals of the past want to escape my body. My body temperature increases by the seconds, I'm getting hotter and hotter. I begin to unbutton my shirt, grabbing on straps, sleeves, whatever I can to try and cool off. Why don't I have feeling in my arms and hands? My speech becomes slurred as my mouth erupts with earlier consumption. Just when I think it might be over, I start loosing it...small black spots appear in my site as my vision begins to fail. Small black spots turn into large black spots, then complete darkness. I close my eyes. Where did everyone go? Whats happening to me? Am I blind? Will my site return? In and out, in and out, my breathing triples in pace as I start to hyperventilate. Will anyone help me? Will they know what to do? What will they think of me? Oh God, help me!
The hair stands up on my arm as I shiver from chills. My skin embraces the cool air being fanned on me by another. "Open your eyes and drink this water," another voice says. I hesitantly open my eyes, I can see! I'm freezing, Ive ripped away most of my clothing. Trying to catch my breath, I cover up and sip on the water placed in front of me. Thanking my strangers for caring, I reassure everyone including myself that I am okay. I got through it and I'm okay. Embarrassed by the by standing stares, I compose myself, stand on two feet and prepare to walk through the whispers. I'm thankful and frightful at the same time. I came through it again...until the next episode.