Sunday, August 9, 2009

Love Me or Leave Me Alone

It would have been easier if you said you didn't love me anymore. I would have been able to live with the fact that you couldn't stay. The pain that I would feel when you said goodbye would eventually fade unlike the pain that I have from your unfulfilled promises and the false hope you give me when you say things will be different. Not receiving your phone calls would sting a little but not like the electric shock I feel when we sit on the phone with nothing to say; conversations so dull and empty. Not feeling you next to me in bed would feel cold and lonely but it wouldn't be as much agony as laying next to you knowing you aren't fully there. I would shed thousands of tears after your departure but they can be easily wiped away with a kleenex instead of me longing for you to wipe the one tear that falls down as you pretend to listen. Melodies of love songs would haunt me on the radio after you are gone but they will soon be tuned out unlike the soothing rhythms that I play for you, hoping that you would see how I feel for you. Answers to your whereabouts would become systematic instead of random excuses of why you weren't by my side. My heart would then sadden at the thought of a future without you but it would still be more clear than fantasizing about the future that you never saw with me. So yes, I would rather you let me go now than to hate you later.