Thursday, August 14, 2008
One of relationships biggest challenge is understanding one another. Are men and women simply speaking different languages or do we just want to be loved the way we love? If it’s true that we speak different languages, then how do we translate to each other? Do I keep speaking my language and hope that he will eventually catch on as when you here si’ over and over in Spanish, then you finally realize that it must mean yes? Or do I just learn his language and hope to one day teach him mine? It’s quite a frustrating mystery. I think it’s a contradiction of The Golden Rule stating to give unto others as you would have them give unto you…well with love, we often times love others as we would want to be loved but in a lot of instances that may not be how the other person wants to be loved or even consider love. How horrible do we feel when we go out of our way to show someone how much we love and care about them but they simply don’t respond or under mind what you just did to express your feelings. Well we could look at that from the other side and say how bad do we feel when we are looking to hear those three words, to receive those roses, to feel that warm hug and kiss and don’t. Maybe the other person thought that sharing their last piece of gum solidified their true feelings, that calling you before half-time or paying for lunch was the ultimate declaration of their love for you. The signals can so easily get crossed when two people aren’t speaking the same language. One may feel unappreciated or ignored while the other can feel neglected and used. How do we give love in a language that we don’t understand? And how do we acknowledge love in a language we don’t recognize? Relationships face so many challenges already and not understanding each other is like having a deaf person and blind person trying to go to the movies and then out dancing; one will never see the big picture and the other will always be on a different note. Maybe we should come with an instruction manual just in case the men… I mean either party doesn’t quite listen to what makes one tick in the first place. This is a requirement of getting to know someone, what do they really want? If the answer to that is clear then at that time it’s up to the person to decide if that’s something they can handle or not. If my love for roses comforts me when I’m down and you feel that would be a problem for you, then maybe you aren’t the person for me. If I can’t understand that when you are upset, you like to go for a run then maybe I am not the person for you. Buying you a new pair of shoes that you like may not help you get over the stress at work just like washing my car may not help me get over that letter of rejection. It’s key to understand that affirmations of love should always be acknowledged and appreciated; however it is important to know that sometimes it’s more than the “thought” that counts. It’s the understanding of your partner and showing them that you understand what they need at that particular moment because at the end of the day, that’s what counts the most!